when people give you nothing on your birthday,
EVEN AFTER THEY KNEW about it,
it can only mean 2 things :

1) they do not even care about their own birthdays
2) they do not care about you

it cannot be more than these 2 reasons.

there are people who can forget your b-day, esp. guys,
it is understandable.

and if later they realize they forget, and gave you “something”,
even though you tell them no,
that is VERY forgivable.
(because when female say no, they really do not mean NO, haha)
esp. if they can even give you what you LOVE the most, that is just lovely …

but for the people that knows your b-day, and gave you nothing.
and did not even say anything to you,
that is unforgivable.

at least to me, cause i do have a small heart. PERIOD.

back to the main topic,

at 零時、i told her AGAIN it was my birthday, and she sang me a song.
then later at evening, she went to work.
then very late at night, she came back.

and gave me nothing … ~.~
冷たくないのかなあ。。。
if she really has no sense like this, i can only say,
we should worry about how she can survive in this world.

she did tell me she does not posess the personality that can 通じる in this world … ~.~
you said THAT right.

anyway, when i saw her coming back,
that time, i already had a cold day at work, with no one care about “my birthday”,
of course, then, my brother, my best friend, and many others,
all did not remember.

then i saw her, thinking she could not possibly did NOTHING, …
and she did.

i dont know, if it were other people, what they would feel,
but on that “particular” day, seeing how people react to your “day”,
and you can tell a lot about how other people really “treat you”.

well, at least, to me, i give a LOT of shit about that 24 hours.

i always try my very best to make sure other people get “something” on their birthday,
unless they were mean or cold to me before.

but even so, on my very own day, i got disappointed like NO OTHER.

so there we go, a birthday with NO presents, even the person that KNOW ABOUT IT ALL ALONG, gave you nothing. what can you say?

nothing.

i was making excuses to her, maybe because last year, during her own b-day, she also received nothing, so she “would like” to apply the same thing to me … but isn`t this a little sick?

crying out loud our characters are completely different. she never makes any friends. she told me “endless” times that ever since she was a kid she had trouble making friends, 上司 said her attitude is poor, honestly, i also received a lot of poor attitude from her. SUPER a lot.

on the other hand …

and sorry i do not have trouble “making friends”, not that i am super good at, but … 普通？
my attitude is also poor for bosses, too. but i do apologize if i do wrong …

and that girl, i dont know, she used my mirror and put it on her table the first day she moved in, and that is before i even saw her face for the first time.
i come back home and realize my mirror has been used and has been moved, and … i did not even know why.

can we call this “common sense” ?

do not use other people`s thing, esp. you have not even met them.

back to the main topic …

This month, i had the worst day, and also the most surprised day …

my birthday was in the month, but sadly, no one remembers it.

and the very person that remembers it, of course, it is my roommate, cause she asked, and i answered, and she wrote down on the calendar …

and turns out, i did not even get a 100 yen candy from her that day …

why?

i also want to know why.
it is not like we have a bad relationship.

ずーーーとうまくいってよ、actually, that is an understatement. our relationship has gone EVEN better and more comfortable with each other ever since one of my newly known good friends went back to hk, and 偶然に, this month she also start having normal schedule, we see each other way more often, and we even go out together a lot.

yes, we already LIVE together, and we also go out a lot, what does it tell you?

what i want to say is, you should have “expectations” under these circumstances. it is normal, natural and healthy.

well well well …

these are called “Miffy”.

with the color they have, i guess you would imagine, 1 is a boy, and 1 is a girl.

every time i walked by them, i always have a feeling of “うらやましい”。

だって、いつも一緒だし、アノ二人。(sometimes, one of the miffy got inflated, and will be put inside the store but not out for display, those days are rare, and makes me wonder if the other one is ok, 寂しくない？and will the inflated miffy be ok, too?)

でも、実際は、私たち、あんなこと、できないでしょう？何々か自分のspaceが重要だって、面倒。if 2 people are meant to be together, i dont think that is a problem. it can be managed naturally. only people not fully understand will have issues.

luckily, at least i don’t have this problem with my roommate.

but still, it does not stop me from hoping to hear from you every day, even though you are super 冷たい。〜。〜

beautiful.

it is from the 16th floor of the building that i work.

such a beautiful scenery, but inside this building, are full of co-workers that i hate and not want to see or hear that voice every day.

大嫌い。あんな汚い気持ちを持ちたくないけど、いつか、can finish in a good way?

i think this is the first dessert that i got from my roommate.

that was months ago, while she was SO not herself, every day being tortured by her SUPER long hours of work.

recently, she works a lot less, such a SUPER nice company, she really is.

God bless her with all the things she needs and more to go through this super tough time …

the dessert is so so, but her 気持ち、こちらは、super 受けてる。

i guess that is also my first RAMEN with my lovely roommate, in 北海道 xxx down the street ~ !

this is a photo of the sunrise/sunset from the street down there, wow …

so pretty, …

that is a photo that i took after i sent “a certain someone” off to the station, how lonesome …

this is ONE cute egg.

a closer look of a very cute egg.

from someone who 勝手に did a BBQ in the balcony ….. hahahaha.

my first “crystal” bracelet, ぜんぜん着ないけど、はは。

what a beautiful COLOR ~~~.

My ipod exploded …

あり得ない！

while the ipod was being charged, through a normal cord, connected to the computer, all of a sudden, it started to have SMOKE coming out !!!

of course, i could not believe it when i saw it. in my head, i was like, HA???

why smoke coming out? try to figure out what went wrong, but in only a matter of seconds, not only the smoke, which might cause the alarm, but also, the smell, it was SUCH a POISONING feel !!! ><

so despite the seemingly heat, without even knowing where the CAUSE is, i just had to disconnect the cord from the ipod and see if that will solve the problem …

and i immediately had to put the ipod out at the corridor, then open the darn door and window and hoping the air would flow through.

what a nightmare …

Last Friday night, something unexpected happened.

絶対いいことでしょう？

けど、まだ何でも言わなかったし、どういう意味のかなあ。。。？

the mystery, the doubts that had been bugging me before that night was all gone. the feeling was very nice. the after taste was also very sweet … ><

romantic …

=================================================

それ以外、最近、working sucks ~!

i don’t even want to think about this. makes me so mad.

mostly, it is not THE work, it is the stupid co-workers.

i am soooooooo sick of them. i wish they will just leave me the xxxx alone and just mind their own business!

hate them.

they are just so full of it. 100%.

あのトンカツ店行く途中、コレを見た。キレイでしょう。。。

さすか副都心線。

店の中の lighting … sorry, the photo was take not side way.

as you can tell, this is PORK.

and as you can tell, this is CABBAGE …

close-up of なす。

茶碗 。。。超小さかったけど 。。。

behind all these seemingly nice photos of food, it actually represents a friend that had to go back to her home country and this meal, was probably, our last meal together in japan for 2012.

トンカツ is the least of my fav. food, but she liked it, so i was like, ok …

i have seen SOOOO many people comes and goes.

it makes me so tired i already have no more words for this.

i hope that i do not have to end this by leaving here.

i still LOVE 五目麺、every time i go to a new restaurant, and if they have this type of noodles, even though they have other noodles or dishes that seem extraordinary delicious, i still cannot get my hands off this BOWL of NOODLES and just had to order this ><.

oh geez.

and i do not see how i will stop this “once in a while habit” anytime soon.

close-up of the 五目麺,  doesn’t it look delicious? ★

ok, this is probably the VERY FIRST STAR STAR necklace i ever have in my life so far. when you want to get yourself out of sadness, you want to defer your attention to something else, things that makes you feel (at least a little) “interests” or “excitement” or “passion” about.

well, honestly, i do not feel much about anything except human relationships of any kind. yes, it is down to this point. long time ago i already had no interests of “physical” things.

however, no choice, what else can i do, right? because not many people can play with me. so i had to find something else.

as interesting as the look it may seem, i never even had 1 chance to wear this …

this one, on the contrast,  i had the chance to wear, however, not enough to call it my favorite.